Stuck Again - The First Step

The process of making this film felt less like an act of creation and more like a constant series of choices. It wasn’t about deciding what to include—it was about deciding what to let go of. The budget was limited, and there was never enough time.

And yet, strangely, I wasn’t afraid.

Perhaps it was because I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. More than anything, I was simply excited by the fact that I was finally making a film in Korea.

Looking back now, I can see countless mistakes. But I also think that same excitement—and that same ignorance—was what allowed me to begin in the first place and what carried me all the way to the finish line.

Once production began, everything started unfolding differently from how I had imagined. The plans we had carefully prepared kept colliding with reality. Time seemed to disappear at an impossible speed, and unexpected challenges appeared one after another.

But somehow, the set was fun. It was exciting.

That was when I truly understood, once again, that films are ultimately made by people.

The actors brought richness to the scenes through their own unique interpretations and expressions, while the crew’s experience helped solve problems I hadn’t even anticipated. Again and again, I found myself grateful for the people around me.

When filming finally wrapped, my legs nearly gave out. I was relieved. I was happy.

Of course, the film is full of flaws, and there are countless things I would do differently now. But one thing is certain: I took a step forward.

And that single step is what brought this film all the way here.

Today, this film is traveling through Europe and North America. I still don’t know where it will take me next, but that uncertainty feels both exciting and deeply rewarding.

Naturally, there are regrets. There are things I wish I had done better. There is also a not-so-cool part of me that keeps looking back over my shoulder, replaying moments and wondering what could have been different. I keep all of that tucked away in a quiet corner.

But even so—

I’m glad I made this film.

이 작품을 만드는 과정은 창작의 시간이기보다 끊임없이 선택하는 시간에 가까웠다. 무엇을 넣을지보다 무엇을 포기할지를 결정해야 했다. 예산은 한정되어 있었고, 시간은 부족했다. 그럼에도 이상하게 두렵지는 않았다. 아마도 내가 무엇을 모르는지조차 몰랐기 때문일 것이다. 그냥 한국에서 할 수 있다는 생각에 신났다.

지금 돌아보면 수없이 많은 실수가 보인다. 하지만 동시에 그 신남과 무지함이 있었기에 시작할 수 있었고, 끝까지 밀고 갈 수 있었던 것 같다. 촬영이 시작되자 모든 것이 예상과 다르게 흘러가기 시작했다.

준비했던 계획은 현실과 끊임없이 충돌했다. 시간은 왜 그렇게 빨리가는지, 예상치 못한 변수는 끊임없이 나타났다. 하지만 신기하게도 촬영 현장은 재미있었고 즐거웠다.

영화는 결국 사람으로 만들어진다는 말을 그때 다시 한 번 실감했다.

배우들의 개성있는 해석과 표현들이 장면들을 더 풍성하게 만들었고, 스태프들의 경험은 내가 미처 생각하지 못했던 문제들을 해결해 주었다.

촬영이 끝난 후 다리에 힘 풀렸다. 기뻤다. 물론 부족한 점 투성이지만, 한 걸음을 내디뎠다는 사실만큼은 분명했다. 그리고 그 한 걸음이 결국 이 영화를 여기까지 데려왔다.

지금 이 작품은 유럽과 북미를 돌고 있다. 이 다음은 어디로 데려다 줄 지 아직 모르지만 뿌듯하고 설렌다.

당연히 후회와 아쉬움 그리고 자꾸 뒤돌아보는 쿨하지 못한 마음은 한켠에 숨겨두고 있지만…

그래도 좋다.

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